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| Ok, guys. Let's talk.
I know you're all pretty pissed at me right now, for running off to Oregon and all, so I hope to explain at least a little here and maybe you'll understand some. Or...maybe not.
1. I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM MY PROBLEMS. None of my problems were JC-specific anyway, so obviously coming here is only creating new problems (such as...having nowhere to live, no job, no way to go to school, and, of course everyone I love being angry at me [besides my mother and sister, and I have my suspicions Seth as well]). So--- this is not an attempt at an escape or anything, and I definitely never expected it to be. Life in Johnson City was too good for that to make any sense.
2. I'm sorry I didn't talk to anyone about this. In my defense, I hardly talked to myself about it...It was just so sudden. I decided to go and BAM off I went. If I had talked to anyone, I'm sure you would have thought I was just as crazy anyway and probably just tried to stop me. I'm glad I did this, and I'm glad I didn't risk being talked out of it by logic. I'm happy to have done something spontaneous albeit absolutely insane. Anyway, I know it was very terrible to not at least warn Madison because of the whole living situation not to mention the pets. I want you all to now that I intend to pay my share of the rent as long as she is living there without a roommate (maybe even if she does find someone who wants to move in, just for common courtesy...I'm sure the extra money would be handy and she deserves something for putting up with this crap. plus my stuff is there taking up room).
3. Yes I am moving here. You're welcome to come live with me (ha!)
4. The main reason I did this is because I am tired of sitting around waiting on my dreams to come true. I wanted something to happen, instead of slowly making plans that never go through. I want to live in Portland more than anything. I want to be absolutely on my own instead of relying on you poor people and others to help me along so much. I recently realized how much you guys feel like you have to take care of me because of all the things I've done. I am so un-independent it's ridiculous. I make Seth go to the grocery store with me for crying out loud. I make Austin take me to school. I just wanted to force myself to do everything for once---to talk to who I need to talk to to make a life for myself. This probably all sounds so dumb to you.
5. I know you have some weird feelings about my family. I thinks some of you blame my mother for not stopping me...if this is you, STOP. Just so you know, I respect and love her more than anyone or anything in the world. She is being amazing to me. She knows I need to do what I need to do, and although it is worrying her to no end, she's letting me. I feel terrible for what it's putting her through and there's another great reason for you to hate me, but I promise I'm doing everything I can to make this easier on her. As for my sister, she told me yesterday how much she admires me for doing this, and that means more than anything anyone's said to me. My mom and my sister know what's up.
6. I really, really love you guys, and I miss you. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you by doing this. You know my phone is always on for you and I'd love to hear from you if you feel like you can talk to me without being angry. I'm coming home December 2nd through Christmas, and I'd love to do anything we had planned if you want me there. I understand if not. Also, once I get my place up here, you know you're more than welcome to come visit me anytime for any reason, and if I could help pay I would. I can't even say how much I love you guys and it breaks my heart to know that you're mad at me.
I hope this did something. Thank you for reading it...
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| We don't really need this anymore since we're all together [at my apartment, every night, for hours, and often dinner before], but I do think it's necessary for Austin's silly one-sentencers.
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| Ok, we're going with the 29th until, let's say, the third? That's a good amount of time. Once again, I'm driving, you all help pay for gas, we're staying with my friend Rob (most of his family will be gone), and doing a lot of stuff in DC.
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| How's around July 28th for everyone? We can stay for any amount of time. Let me know!
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| I have sparked your curiosity...gooooood.
My friend Rob from Allegheny (who I was previously seriously pissed at, in case you remember, but have talked to a lot since and actually like again) offered a home to me and whoever of my darling friends would like to come sometime in July when his parents are out of town (or at least his mom and sister, his dad apparently doesn't give a crap). He lives in a suburb outside DC, spends a ton of time in the city, and have extremely interesting friends: guaranteed a good time. He has summer classes during the day, giving us time to do whatever we want in lovely DC (flip off the White House, etc.) He's still letting me know about when would be best, but he said he'd give me adequate time to ask off work. He's a really cool, laid-back guy, and we will definitely be safe, haha. So..who's still in?
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